Alayode's Memoirs

Have you found yourself normalizing abuse? Do you see it as means of discipline or a way of life? Is abuse a form of correction to you? Do you even know you are being abused? Waking up to the awareness of what abuse is can be the beginning of your liberation and switch in life. Abuse is the improper usage or treatment of a thing, often to unfairly or improperly gain benefit. Abuse can come in many forms, such as: physical or verbal maltreatment, injury, assault, violation, rape, unjust practices, crimes, or other types of aggression. You are an abuser: Ø   If you deliberately treat him or her badly when you are alone with them but in a better light when you are in the midst of others. Ø   When you deliberately deprive your loved ones of the things you know bring them pleasure. Ø   When you choose the silent treatment as a form of deliberate punishment.   Now this can be dicey.   Some go silent when they are tired of communicating their mind because i...

I am strong I am able I am dignity personified I am me YES!!! I am a Victor My journey seems unreal My healing is amazing I’ve got the best support system I owe it all to YOU He is my All My Everything My most dependable, undisputed, ever faithful partner With you I never have to worry again You’ve got me always You love me always You are my GOD My first true love The real definition of amazing Grace Yes it’s all about you 

It’s been one year One year today One year of joy One year of love One year of peace One year of growth One year of beauty One year of healing One year of loving me One year of learning and unlearning One year of freedom from my abuser I thought the journey would be tougher Oh it got tough sometimes But it’s been a worthy tough one I love the process I’m glad I’ve been burnt out And the gold in me shines forth I’m the prize. I’m the real deal I know never to settle for less I’m glad I’m stronger I’m glad I’m wiser I’m glad I’m better I’m glad I’m more beautiful

A trampled rose That was not regarded She sought for love She had hopes for the fairy tales Love so true and pure Love that could heal Unfortunately, she was robbed She was deprived Of what she longed for Of what she dreamt of She gave up on it Never felt like it existed It was meant for the movies Not for humans to feel Then boom  The light flashed Took all the darkness out Healing all hurt with its strength She saw Love She felt Love She touched Love She kissed Love It was no longer a fairy tale It was no longer a mirage It was a reality That came to stay Love heals Love strengthens Love cures True love is real ❤

She might be different But she found herself Her uniqueness exposed her To her rebirth She never liked the regular She never liked rules She didn’t have a favourite thing She just moved with the flow But she wanted to explore She wanted to be seen She wanted to be loved She wanted to be heard She loved love Loved life Loved ease Loved peace She wasn’t prepared Life ain’t so generous with its kindness She must fight for it If truly she’ll achieve She got beaten down But she’s risen Above the storm and pain Yet shining like a diamond Still some down moments But she’s a force She cannot be taken down She’s a fighter She is me…. I’m a strong woman I’m a survivor

  Sometimes it gets so lonely With long days and nights I just wanna be my self Not really because I want to But because that’s what I’ve got I was never prepared for adulthood All the attached terms and conditions That didn’t need my consent But had my signatures and stamp I’ve got to live by them And get strong each day By the stormy, cool, hot, calm Whichever breeze decides to blow There’s no urge to move on On many days But I’ve come too far The only way on is forward So I drag myself With my scars and my pains My victories and smiles And forge ahead I’m not backing down And I choose strong Even though it feels like a mirage I choose to see light I’m a strong me A unique me My story will give strength Even as I continue to heal ❤❤

I had my standards and few rules...Oh yes I did.  But I heard this doctrine from a church that taught 'don't judge a man based on all you see today.  Always trust God and see his prospects'.  That was the message. Do not get me wrong.  Ain't nothing wrong with being with a struggling man and encourage him. But you see those standards you've had even before dating; they were there for a reason.  Do not despise them. Those "i's" that need to be doted and "t's" that need to be crossed should be attended to. Any relationship that requires you to lose yourself for your partner to find himself or herself is toxic. The society is highly fixated on teaching that satisfaction in life is dependent on 'that other person'.  We are not taught to stand up for ourselves, say no to being treated unfairly or walking away heads up from abuse.  I look forward to a new narrative where men and women would stand up for themselves, stand up for the trut...

 "Are you going back?" I hear these words From friends, families, strangers "When are you going back??" "Remember your children" More words they spill From friends, families, strangers  No one mentions Are you mentally ready  To start this journey again Most times, they don't care about you. I ask myself: What is there to return to??? Pain Lies Tears Anguish Deceit Poverty  Manipulation The list goes on and on Ain't no going back to any of these It's time to take the walk My walk of victory and liberation  Oh yes!!! I took the walk There's no looking back There's no going back I might get little or no support  On this solo and peaceful walk But all that matter is ME I'm free I've got a story to tell It's time to live again

My name is Ashley Ace (not real name) and I'm a single mother of two beautiful girls'.  I said as I introduced myself at the event I graced with my presence. I noticed the 'WOW' look they all had on their faces and I could take a quick journey through their minds and imagine the thoughts in there.  'How can she be so proud to introduce herself as a single mother', 'isn't she ashamed', 'see the way she's dressed, no wonder she's a single mother', ' it must have been her fault', 'she looks wayward'.....etc. I snapped out quickly from the journey of their thoughts and focused on my reason for being there.  I've always had this look when I have to introduce myself and I always do it with so much pride and grace.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I'm not happy my marriage didn't work out or I have to go through life alone.  But I'm proud of myself and my journey.   The idea of stigmatization needs to stop.  Som...

Welcome to my space. This is a community of purposeful single mothers. This is my journal and writing space dedicated to all single mothers. Single mothers who became single as a result of circumstance Single mothers who won't allow the name itself limit them  Single mothers who aren't held bound by the limitation around them  Single mothers who are goal getters and ready to change the norm.  Welcome to my space 💓